Holy shit, guys. This one is nigh unbelievable. In all my years of watching porn (there have been many, I assure you), I have never seen anything quite like this. A young lass from teenslikeitbig named Lexi Belle takes it upon herself to relieve a young magician of his sexual woes. She first takes his magic wand and beings to suck on it. Then, Lexi Belle sticks her ENTIRE HAND inside his hat and begins to…ok, she doesn’t really stick anything of hers inside anything of his, but the first part about the magic wand–aka a dicksucking–is entirely true!

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Jenaveve Jolie is so hot that this really doesn’t require any explanation. Instead, here’s a story for you motherfuckers:

Dicksucking bears an uncanny resemblance to piloting a wormhole-jumping spaceship. In a ship with a realistic wormhole-jumping configuration, the pilot must be prepared to bust through the event horizon of the phenomenon while accounting for a variety of factors so that he may endure the massive gravitational effects and live to tell the tale. In fact, there are several wormhole-ship captains who could tell you anecdotes consisting of variations on the above. One captain in particular is Timothy Longdong. Mr. Longdong is not only an accomplished and decorated veteran explorer of the gamma quadrant, but is also the proud owner of a long dick, the likes of which have explored more than a few earthling (and non-earthling!) females! The latter is referred to as ‘Rishathra’ by the non-fiction historical author Larry Niven. Anyway, Commander Longdong is on day 389 of an exploration to find new latinum mines for the Federation. Of course, his search is going nowhere and he would be a very bored captain—were it not for his smoking hot earthling copilot Cox Ucker. What follows is a little tale, an experience the captain had recently.

*********************

“Cox, what’s our heading?” 

“Bearing 235 mark 4, Captain.”

“Very good, Cox. How do the Bussard collectors read? Are they within spec?”‘

“Yes Captain, all within spec.”

“Good to hear, Cox. You know, you’ve been an essential part of this vessel since the start of your tenure. It’s good to have someone like you here on the ship, Cox. Things would get awfully lonely otherwise.”

“I feel likewise, Sir. Say, we received another health bulletin from earth the other week, and there was a particular part that I felt was relevant to our situation…”

“Really? Tell me more, Cox. Give me the executive summary. You know how impatient I get with these longwinded manuscripts.”

“Of course. The article begins with a brief bullet-point list outlining the dangers of accumulated stress. A paragraph below expounds on these dangers.”

“What sort of dangers are we talking about, Cox?”

“Dangers of a very grave nature, Captain. Below the paragraph is a graph showing a positive correlation between time spent celibate and inclination toward homicide.”

“Well Cox, I wouldn’t want either of us to end up dead. Is there a solution proposed?”

“As a matter of fact there is, Captain. I must give you a blowjob, the likes of which you have never experienced.”

Silence filled the cabin for thirty seconds, then a minute. Somewhere after the point when a normal person would get uncomfortable holding their breath, the captain issued a cough.

“No one will know, Cox. Is this understood?”

“Yes, Captain. Now, remove your striped military trousers and allow me to fulfill you.”

“Yes, Cox. Fulfill me.”

Cox’s tongue danced all over the Captain’s shaft, and even though he had been masturbating upwards of two or three time a day for the past year he had to exert an uncomfortable amount of effort to hold onto his seed…

“Oh, Cox! I don’t think I can hold on for much longer!”

“Ok, Captain. Would you prefer me to spit or swallow?”

“I want my load inside you, Cox. Swallow my cum.”

“As you wish, sir.”

At the very moment that climax was initiated, a blaring klaxon siren issued from the com panel.

“Shit!”

The captain groaned as he relased his load into Cox’s mouth while simultaneously swiveling around to face com. 

“What’s it read, sir?”

But she knew the answer. Before Longdong could answer, an alien warship de-cloaked right in front of their viewscreen.

Just as the captain’s mouth began to form the first sound in “fuck,” the warship issued a massive energy blast which destroyed the wormhole-ship whole. Nobody would ever know about the epic cocksucking of Timothy Longdong.

Nobody but you, dear reader.

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Jenaveve Jolie is a journalist at a faceless multinational corporation. She picks up a hot story, but whom will she sell it to? That’s a good question, but apparently she picked this cock-bearing gentleman. Watch her slurp that cock as she extracts every last bit of semen, kind of like how piranhas pick the flesh off of fleshy creatures who make the mistake of entering a stream containing a school of them. Don’t think about that, though. Instead, click on through to Big Tits at Work and watch this Jenaveve Jolie give an amazing blowjob!
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Well, well, well. It’s a lucky day to be you. Have you ever wanted to have your cock blown by a skanky looking pornstar who might well cause something heinous like good ol’ penis acne aka herpes. Anyway, now your wish has come true because in this installment here at Cock Smugglers, we’re posting a video of a young lady named linda giving a grade-A blowjob. And in case you didn’t catch on earlier, this video is taken from a point of view mere inches above the penis of a forever anonymous pornstar, a true unknown soldier of his field. Anyway, check out this how blowjob video and let me know what you think by commenting below.

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He was watching her from the window when she slipped off her shirt. Instantly he knew what he had to do. The hair on his body stiffened and a wave of fear ran through him. Could he make it in time? What would happen if she noticed him? Well aware of the consequences, our intrepid hero pulled out his gargantuan member and began to tug it in an effort to initiate a sustained stiffy. It didn’t take much effort, and indeed, ’twas not long before the premonitions of an orgasm bore down on Mr. Voyeur. All of a sudden, the young innocent lass inside turned and saw the peeping tom at the window! He was caught red handed, and the resulting wave of excitement caused a cum blast that nearly shattered the window. Luckily enough, the voyeur’s prey was horny tonight and the two had quite an adventure that included some fairly substantial blowjobs.

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Well guys, I don’t really have a lot to say about Kimerly. After all, she’s a pornstar with cum all over her face, what more is there to say? Let me take this opportunity, however, to say that today I bought the video game Portal for my PS3. While playing, an idea quickly came to my mind: use the portal gun to shoot a miniature portal onto the wall of the uterus and another right onto the asshole. The implications of this are obvious, and would make for legendary pleasuring. Although the technology for portals is no doubt centuries ahead of us, I am confident that contemporary special FX technology is more than adequate to present the illusion of a disembodied penis sticking into a woman’s pooper in accordance with its movement in and out of the vagina. Who’s with me on this one? Leave your comment below if you found this idea interesting.

One time, when I was a young lad, I was riding in the car with some friends and one of their moms was driving. We kept shouting “bukkake!”, having just discovered the concept on the internet. The mom eventually got curious, and asked just what bukkake was. My friend quickly responded with the following: “Well, some troops are going in for a beach assault, and just when the enemy thinks they know where the troops are going to land, they pull out and LAND ALL OVER THE ENEMY’S FACE! The mom kind of laughed and said that she now know the meaning of this most popular oriental phrase. Anyway, the chick in this post is surrounded by an angry detachment of helmeted soldiers ready to discharge their explosive munitions all over her sweaty visage.

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That is one mammoth cock in her mouth. I tell you people, this whore knows just how to fellate a long rod. There is a right way, a wrong way, and a way somewhere in the middle that I hear is like taking a warm bath. Anyway, she is so far above the right way to suck a dick it’s not even funny. To be honest, I’m surprised that cock in her mouth was able to last the substantial duration that it did as indicated in the linked movies. Anyway, click on through because this is one hot video of a serious blowjob.

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Well, that cock’s in her mouth and I can’t say that she looks too happy to have it there! That’s okay, though, because she won’t bite it off. Wouldn’t you like to hear how this rather nasty encounter got started? Good, because I’ll tell you all about it. This woman came into my office and had a complaint for me! Well, being the receptive person I am, I decided to hear the complaint! Unfortunately for the bitch, I’m a very busy person so I told my three associates to go hear the complaint instead. No problem, they told me. When I got back an hour later they were viciously throat-fucking this whore! I was appalled by their sheer brutality, but I let them carry on with their business until this little cock-slut’s face was glazed over with a layer of sticky jizz. Ooh yeah!

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